Blog, Goal Setting, Self Improvement

Do You Say “What If” Too Often?

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Today’s Topics & What You’ll Learn

  • How fear holds you in your Comfort Zone
  • What is your Comfort Zone and how to let it go
  • Steps you can take to achieve more in your life
  • How you can work through your “What If’s”

Mama Robbins Series

Fear is the number one thing that will hold us back from our greatest achievements. How many times have you thought about something you wanted but decided it was too risky to go for it? A perfect example you may have experienced is wanting a better job, asking for a raise or a promotion. But “What If” I apply for that new job and I don’t get it? “What If” I ask for a raise and my boss laughs in my face? “What If” I take on a larger project to get a promotion but I fail? Do any of these sound familiar? These are extremely common thoughts a lot of us have and they can sabotage our entire future. Plus, I am only referencing a few thoughts you may be having about work. Look at all the other topics you could be second-guessing yourself: parenting, your relationship, friendships, dating, travelling, almost anything!What If” from this point on we keep track of all those random “I wish I had” moments and find a way to say “I’m glad I did”! So how can we change that? Let me tell you how!

It All Lies Within Your Comfort Zone

Everyone has one. It is the feeling you get when you are doing anything. Let me explain it like this….Maybe you have been in your job for years and you know the ins and the outs of everything. When you go into work, it’s like you’re on autopilot. You are “comfortable” with your daily tasks. Now…imagine in that same job your supervisor asks you to come into his office. You sit down and he says, “You know what Kelly? We have been reviewing your work and attendance and you are one of our top employees. We have a huge project coming up next month and it’s right up your alley. We want you to head the deal. You in?” Literally, at THAT moment, you may start to feel your heart beat faster, your hands might get a little sweaty and you may feel nervous. THIS is your comfort zone limits being pushed. You always have two choices. You can either let the fear take over and you step back to where you are comfortable and say no and you resume life as you always have. Your second choice….to let your mind take over and say, “this is my time to shine” and embrace your comfort zone. This, possibly resulting in the raise you always wanted and a promotion!

I get letting go of fear is easier said than done, but it is possible with a little hard work. If you are reading this and you feel this is exactly what you needed to read, I want you to understand I know EXACTLY how you feel. To allow me to relate to you a little more, I am going to list a few things that I never thought about doing because I had a SERIOUS case of the “What If’s.

  • Obtaining my Life Insurance License – This was an online course I had to do on my own. Four different books with hundreds of pages and I needed to know the right material to pass with a minimum of 60%. “What If” I failed? I studied for two full months with EVERY spare moment I had. I passed with a 78%. This was the absolute hardest exam I’ve ever taken in my life!
  • Asking Out My Husband – Okay…obviously at the time we were just friends, but “What If” he said no? “What If” he wasn’t interested in me? I sucked it up and asked anyways and now we are married, have kids together and I could never be happier!
  • Becoming A Mom – If you are anything like I was, I questioned EVERYTHING. “What If” I’m not good at it? “What If” I don’t know what to do? If I listened to my fear on this one, I would have never had the THREE amazing bambinos I have now!
  • Becoming A Blogger! – Yes…..this was a new stepping stone for me. I have wanted to influence and help people for years but had no idea how. I also always wanted to start sharing my ideas with others as I have so many friends that reach out to me for advice as it is. So…what went through my mind? “What If” no one reads my content? “What If” I can’t relate to people? “What If” I can’t think of a topic? “What if” I can’t find the time!” (By the way, as I’m writing this my 1-month-old made it VERY difficult to get this released on time!) Yet…here we are…you are reading what was once a fear!
  • Starting A YouTube Channel – If you notice on my main page “YouTube Channel – Coming Soon”. Yep…this hasn’t occurred yet! This SCARES the daylights out of me because I’m not one for videos, nor have I ever done a video where I post it publicly for the world to see. Plus, I have NO IDEA where it will take me. The possibilities are endless. But even though I have a HUGE “What If” attached, I’m going to do it anyways.
  • Writing A Book(s) – Guess what….I haven’t started this one either. However, oddly, the one “What If” I don’t have with this one is “What If” it doesn’t sell. At the worst case, my kids will have a book written by their mom. So…with that…who cares what other “What If’s” are attached.

Moving on….

I want you to understand that just because I’m about to tell you a few tips to help you tear a hole in your comfort zone, know this…I still fear the unknown. Most likley always will. But it is what we do with our fear and use it to our advantage that will help us move towards our end result.

Now that you understand the sensation you may feel when your comfort zone limits are being exceeded and that I feel just like you, let’s see what we can do about it.

Steps To Achieve More

  • Realize We Are Our Own Worst Enemy – We put limits on so many things we want, but we have 100% control of how we feel towards a situation. Once we can acknowledge this fully, we can start to change our thinking.
  • Write Your “What If’s” Down – I can not tell you enough how important this one step is. This may seem like an odd step, but I want you to see how many things you want to do, but you have a “What If” fear that is holding you back. I want you to look at your list and think….are any of the “What If’s” on my list something I can’t get over? Is there a way for me to look past the “What If” and do it! So make sure you have a Note App on your phone so when you think of something and you catch yourself saying, “but What If”… write it down! FYI, sometimes I will be laying in bed as I’m a thinker and I’ll think of something I want to achieve and it has a “What If” attached to it. Let me tell you, this is the WORST time for me to be thinking, “OHHHH I have an idea….I need to write it down!!!” Seriously! With me half asleep and with one eye open I’ll reach up to my phone, open my Note App and write a quick blurb or even a word. I’m sure you know the pain of waking up to check your phone in the middle of darkness and it blinds you even with the dark mode on. Come morning, I will go back and either expand a little or write what is needed to remember for later.

You may be wondering…what in the world does writing down my “What If’s” have anything to do with achieving other things I want in my life. I have a fear of flying…why would I have to write that down? I know I want to ask a said friend out on a date, I don’t need to write it down. Oh!!! But you should. Why? As I mentioned, we think all day long. “What If’s” come up over and over. Remember turning the “I wish I had” into “I’m glad I did?” The next step is ensuring we don’t forget what we wanted to do in the first place. Let me ask you this… Have you ever been out at a movie, mall, park, anywhere and an idea for something you wanted to do come back to you? Example: Maybe you were watching a movie with mountains you think, “I remember a few months ago I had thought about finding a way to climb the mountain ‘insert place here’, but didn’t think I was in good enough shape. “What If” I can’t make it to the top?” It happens to the best of us. So let’s not miss out!

The best part is, writing it down isn’t scary. At least it shouldn’t be. We’re not saying you have to go after this, but you will have a better idea of the fears that are holding you back. Now that the easy part is out of the way, let’s deal with the hardest part.

  • How To Move Forward – I have been living seven hours away from my parents for over 11-years. They have only travelled to see me three times. Reason? My mom has a huge fear of driving down here. Her exact words, “What If” I get into an accident and die!? “What If” I get stuck behind traffic bumper-to-bumper and have a heart attack?” Don’t get me wrong, I can see why my mom is resistant to driving, but she hasn’t had anything horrible happen to her to cause this fear. It’s literally because she isn’t “comfortable” or “used to” driving in a larger amount of traffic. So in my mom’s case, what would she need to do to overcome the “What If”? She needs to stop thinking of the worst-case scenario! She needs to get in her car and drive. Yes, it will be nerve-wracking, but she will never get any better at driving if she doesn’t practice! Whatever it is you are trying to do…diet, ask a friend on a date, taking a course or exam, job-related advancements, flying, etc, as long as the action isn’t going to kill you, what is the worst that will happen? In most cases, you remain right where you are. (In my mom’s case, okay, “technically” she could die. But the likelihood is minimal.) – That …..may have been a bad example. But I’m sure you get my point.
Long time
  • You Need To Be Uncomfortable To Grow – Anything you do that doesn’t push your comfort boundaries will not allow you to grow as an individual. You will always remain where you are. If there is a “What If” situation that scares you, DO IT! Go after what you are afraid of! You can only be uncomfortable doing something for so long.

So What Have You Learned?

  • Understand YOU put limits on yourself and only YOU can let them go
  • Make a list of all the “What If” holding you back
  • Realize most of your “What If’s” are NOT going to kill you – So go for it!
  • You need to be uncomfortable to grow

What are your “What If’s” that could be preventing you from having a boyfriend, a job promotion or raise, a vacation in another country, having kids, or starting your own business?

If we all start taking small steps towards achieving what seems to be impossible, you will no longer have to say, “I wish I had” and you’ll finally be able to say, “I’m glad I did”.

PS. >>Can you believe I wrote “What If” 37 Times in just this one Blog? How many times are you saying it to yourself daily?

Until Next Time – Follow Me: Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram & remember to Subscribe to receive my Weekly Posts!

Sincerely,

Mama Robbins

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2 thoughts on “Do You Say “What If” Too Often?”

  1. YES! I think you are so right! I have had the most wonderful experiences when getting outside that comfort zone and letting go of the “What if”.
    For years my “What if” was “What will people think”. But since I have let go of that – so many great things have happened.

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